Jan 082012

Life’s twists and turns.

Mom is in a retirement facility.  That’s code for your not going home anytime soon Mom.  Sundays are a favorite for me now.  Just like when my dad was in a care facility I take Mom to church every week.  My brother was lucky to do it last year.  A guaranteed few hours alone with Mom.  Today was different.  She was in bed when I got there.  Sound asleep.  Snoring a little (good thing Mom can’t access or know how to read my blogs.  She would kill me for this one).  I could tell she must have had a rough night.  The room was in disarray.  Soon she realized I was in the room and was sitting up talking to me about things that are imaginary.  Dementia stinks.  Here is a woman that gave birth to 6 children, losing one at birth, almost losing another at birth and birthing a 12 pounder.  She pretty much did all the financials for Dad’s construction business.  She held many positions of responsibility in her church.  Lost her gall bladder, several feet of her intestines and colon, had her knee replaced, broke her back, and had about every type of intestinal problem known.  She had a room at the emergency facility that was nicknamed after her because of her frequent visits.  One time I will never forget.  She had dislocated her middle finger.  It was laying back 90 degrees from the palm of her hand.  Real creepy looking.  She was very uncomfortable but as usual had the emergency room on their toes.  The Doctor arrived and gingerly took her hand.   The female emergency room doctor told Mom that she wanted to just look at her finger before she would decide what to do.  Mom had just got back from the X-ray room.  With a swift motion the doctor relocated Mom’s finger.  Even more swiftly Mom decked the Doctor.  Mom could have been a prize boxer.

These days we remind her to bathe.  Does very odd things that are normal for dementia patients. She is lonely.  Wants to go home.  She relies on her children today like we did of her for so many years.  One thing has not changed with Mom she is humble.  Loves and cares about others.  Concerned about my family and I more than herself.  And is still very spiritual.  Many, many times today she asked me the same questions and told me the same story.   Good.   A couple of times I wasn’t her son.  Good.  Someday I will look back just like when Dad graduated from this earth and think of these days when we just sit and talk.  She tells me she loves me every time I arrive and leave.  I do the same to her. Give her a kiss.  I hope when she eventually does graduate she can look back and remember our times together.  Actually I know she will.

 Posted by at 9:43 PM

  4 Responses to “Thoughts……always thinking.”

  1. CUTE!!! (squeal) She is an amazing woman! I’m glad she brought you into this world. Love ya dad! 🙂

  2. Your mom was my “second mom”. How I loved hanging around your home as a teenager and of course your mom was the heart and soul of that great home. Now both of our moms are living in the same place just across the hall from one another. I keep hoping that I’ll have a chance to see your mom again when I’m visiting.

  3. Awwwww, that’s a really sweet write-up, Jim. Shows your great love and affection for your mom. Dementia is a horrible disease, takes away those we love. Both my parents are in the same home, with dementia. It’s so hard to see them as a shell of their former selves. My mom says nothing but ‘yes’ to whatever you ask. My dad tells stories of how busy he is each day (still thinks he lives in his condo). You have to laugh or you’d cry too much. Thanks for sharing :-)).

  4. Jim,
    You seem to absorb the simple yet most valuable things in life – Great example to those of us that get to interact with you. God bless your momma

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